Draco Malfoy and the Alternative Lifestyle
by vestige
Summary: Draco Malfoy is vegetarian, likes yoga, and possibly Harry Potter. H/D SLASH.
1. Nothing Like A Fight

**Chapter 1: Nothing Like A Fight**

**Disclaimer: **Nope, even as much as I want to, I don't own Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy or any part of the Potter Universe. Warner Bros and JK Rowling do, the lucky gits. Don't sue.

**Notes: **Takes place year after Order of the Phoenix

**Summary: **Total rubbish. and H/D ::maniacal grin::

Hermione Granger was getting impatient. Of course, anybody who had waited for an hour would be hopping mad – especially if you were waiting for two boys like Harry Potter and Ron Weasely.  

Naturally, she was so engrossed in devising punishments for the two late boys that she very nearly did a double take when she saw Draco Malfoy.

He had grown.

The new Draco Malfoy was 5' 9 and had stopped gelling his hair. He was _arresting. Wait! Wait! He was stopping! He was going to talk to her!_

'An open mouth doesn't become you, Mudblood.'

Oh well. Some things don't change. But admittedly, she did feel weak at the knees as he walked past. Going by the stunned looks on the rest of the female Hogwarts population at the train station, she wasn't the only one who found him attractive.

Ah, bollocks.

If only Harry and Ron would hurry, then maybe she would be able to chase after that Slytherin and snog him senseless…

***

Maybe wishing Harry and Ron would hurry up was a bad idea. Hermione was seriously regretting being friends with Harry in the first place. Or even going to Hogwarts. Meeting one extremely shaggable boy a day was headache enough. With Harry, the total today was two. And that was not good. Extremely not good. And now The-Boy-Whom-I-Want-To-Shag was leaning towards her. Oh no, Hermione, don't hyperventilate!

'Er, Herm? Are you all right? You look like you're going to pass out or something…'

Breathe, girl, just breathe. Eeps.

'Urm, I'm all right really. Just need some fresh air.' What a lousy excuse but Hermione's brain didn't exactly seem to be working at the moment.

Ron sprang up to open the carriage door.

'Uh actually Ron, it's quite ok…'

The expression of concern that Ron was giving her was quite disconcerting.

Draco Malfoy just had to chose this moment to come walking down the corridor with his two Neanderthals in tow. Hermione's breathing hitched. Almost at the same time, Ron's eyes narrowed.

'Oooh, Mudblood's feeling train sick!' Draco sneered. 'Ronni-kins feeling worried?' Well, it was surprising, the shade of red that some people could turn. 

'Fuck off, Malfoy.' 

'The Boy Wonder speaks, I see. And I always thought he was just some puppet of Dumbledore's. Riding on your new found fame, eh?'

'And you're another one to talk, considering that your darling Daddy's in Azkaban for being a Death Eater. Which brings me to wonder, are you one too, _ferret-boy_?'

With a snarl, Draco Malfoy launched himself at Harry Potter, who in an amazing display of agility ducked and in the ensuing fist-fight, managed to get himself wrapped around Draco Malfoy. 

That was a sight to turn any person on. 

**_Author notes: Do review (begs you)  and if anyone would like to beta the following chapters, contact me at fragilewings00@hotmail.com or AIM me at scentedrushes. Thank you so so so so much!_**


	2. No Good Thing Comes Out Of Yoga

**Chapter 2: No Good Thing (Comes Out Of Yoga)**

**Disclaimer: **Nope, even as much as I want to, I don't own Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy or any part of the Potter Universe. Warner Bros and JK Rowling do, the lucky gits. Don't sue.

**Notes: **Takes place year after Order of the Phoenix

**Summary: **Total rubbish. and H/D ::maniacal grin::

Ok, so fighting with Draco Malfoy was erotic. Harry Potter sighed and ran a hand through his eternally messy hair. Or should he be called 'Hatty' Potter? Seemed to suit him. Tussling with your arch-enemy shouldn't turn you on. But the recollection of it got him a raging hard-on. During dinner. Could you imagine how uncomfortable something like that was? 

Think of Cederic Diggory dying, think of Voldemort, think of Sirius falling past the veil, think of Draco Malfoy only wearing a veil…fuck.

Fuck.

He had tripped over something. Something soft, warm and making a lot of howling noises. Harry blinked and put on his glasses, which had somehow fallen off his nose when he fell. 

'Draco Malfoy?!'

***

Sometimes, Draco Eustace Malfoy wondered if Harry-Fucking-Potter was talented, or just plain lucky. He tended to believe the latter. After all, someone who was so apt a bumbling around and managing to save the world at the same time had to have a lot of luck. If only that sort of luck didn't just apply to saving the world.

Draco Eustace Malfoy was just wondering how much he should sue Harry Potter for. 

***

He didn't know whether to laugh his head off, or be worried at the Death Glare ™ that Draco Malfoy was shooting in his direction.

'HAHAHAHA! YOGA?! I can't believe it!'

If looks could kill, Harry Potter would have gone through all the levels of Hell. Thrice.

But you had to admit, Draco Malfoy looked so cute while he was meditating, only that the normal serene expression that you would expect on a person doing yoga was replaced by a furious/embarrassed scowl.

'Potter! If you tell anyone I will personally…'

'Personally do what?'

'Skewer you alive!'

'With what?'

'With…with…with my wand!'

The look on Malfoy's face was priceless.

Harry just gave him one of his !Evil Harry™ looks. The cogs in his brain were churning. Malfoy just looked helpless.

This year looked promising. 

**_Author notes: Do review (begs you) and if anyone would like to beta the following chapters, contact me at fragilewings00@hotmail.com or AIM me at scentedrushes. Thank you so so so so much!_**


	3. Blackmail

**Chapter 3:  Blackmail**

**Disclaimer: **Nope, even as much as I want to, I don't own Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy or any part of the Potter Universe. Warner Bros and JK Rowling do, the lucky gits. Don't sue.

**Notes: **Takes place year after Order of the Phoenix

**Summary: **Total rubbish. and H/D ::maniacal grin::

Ron had always suspected that one of his best friends was crazy, but he had always thought it was Hermione Granger. Someone who studied so hard must certainly have a few screws loose somewhere. So all this thing about Harry had come as quite a shock to him.

'Harry, you must be joking. Malfoy does yoga?'

The only reply he got was a fit of laughter and even more tears of mirth streaming down Harry's already laughter-reddened face. 

'Oh well. Anyway I've got prefect duties to do. C'ya later buddy, and if you're not feeling well go to bed, ok?'

Harry nodded. Well, Ron thought he nodded, because Harry was right now rolling around the Gryffindor common room. 

First Hermione, now Harry. Ron was feeling somewhat like a mother hen these days. 

***

Mornings were not Harry's forte. He groaned as the stupid alarm sounded. 

Slap. Slap. Ah, blissful silence. He closed his eyes.

And was furiously shaken awake by Hermione Granger.

'Hurry, Harry! We're going to be lake for breakfast!'

'Oh look. Alliteration.' Harry groaned and snuggled deeper into his blankets.

'…and after breakfast we've got Double Potions with the Slytherins!' Hermione was getting frantic he could tell. Wait a minute. Double Potions. Slytherins. Something clicked. He was not missing breakfast for the world.

'Coming!' he yelled, throwing aside his blankets and nearly knocking Hermione over in his excitement.

He made it down for breakfast in record time (much to the delight of Hermione) and began generously spreading porridge on his toast (much to the amusement of Ron). Nobody noticed, however, that he had taken a seat with a full view of the Slytherin Table. 

He was duly rewarded when Draco Malfoy, Prince of Slytherin, made his grand entrance. He was immediately claimed by a very enthusiastic Pansy Parkinson, who at the same time managed to block Harry's view of Malfoy. Harry was glad when they started on breakfast. 

Malfoy gently extricated himself from Pansy's ministrations, causing a fold of his robe to reveal creamy white skin underneath. Harry drooled, which mistakenly caused Neville Longbottom to assume that porridge and toast tasted good (it didn't). 

In the course of rescuing Neville from the after-effects of porridge and toast, as well as marmalade and ham (Neville was never one to do things by halves), Harry failed to notice that a small squabble had broken out at the Slytherin table.

Pansy Parkinson had attempted to feed Draco Malfoy a slice of ham. Bad mistake.

'Have you considered, Pansy, that I am a vegetarian?' Draco's crisp voice resounded around the Great Hall.

Hermione's face lit up in a huge grin. 

'So that's how he get's that wonderful complexion!' she gushed.

Ron moodily wondered if he should also start becoming vegetarian. 

Harry was confronted with the big problem of whether Draco Malfoy sucking him off constituted as 'not being vegetarian'.

And the rest of the Great Hall just wondered if they should all start feeding Draco Malfoy ham so that he would talk to them.

***

Draco Malfoy just hated being paired with Harry Potter for Double Potions. The-Boy-Who-Had-Luck didn't have any in Potions either. It was a wonder he didn't chop off one of his fingers or something. Watching Potter chopping mandrakes was decidedly painful. 

'Potter. You look like you're blugering the thing to death. Watch me.'

Rolling his eyes, he proceeded to slice the mandrake with smooth strokes.  

'There. Do it right, Potter, or I'll hex you after class.' 

Potter was looking at him as if he was a god. Correction: he was a God. Smirking, he turned back to stirring the cauldron, feeling Potter's eyes on him.

Fortunately, they got through potions without any serious mishap (unless, of course, you consider Neville Longbottom falling into his cauldron. All Crabbe's fault, really, but Neville had a record of fouling up in Potions a mile long). And after Potions, Potter had turned to him and said, 'Meet me at the Astronomy Tower after dinner'. 

Did Potter think you could order Draco Malfoy around? Indignation welled up in his chest.

'Or else I'll tell everybody about you doing yoga.'

_Touche__._

**_Author notes: Do review (begs you)  and if anyone would like to beta the following chapters, contact me at fragilewings00@hotmail.com or AIM me at scentedrushes. Thank you so so so so much!_**


End file.
